Verbal Rubbish

For Valentine’s Day, I have asked the following question to several eroge bloggers/lurkers:

Pertaining to the example image below and based on your eroge/RPG playing expertise, what option will you use to woo/romance/capture/torture/ that bishoujo (2D or 3D) of your dreams? Also please explain how and why in a few sentences if possible. I do encourage thinking outside the box if you can.

Unfortunately out of the initial seven people I have emailed, only three replied. But I’m too nice a guy to leave them out of the loop so from the goodwill in my heart I will be answering in their shoes instead! Be thankful you guys! Well first let’s hear what the folks who replied have to say!

Silver:

Hmm… I would pick magic. If I chose to struggle, I don’t think that’s a great idea unless you are waiting to get attacked back or having her run away from you… for life. Escape? Why the heck would I do that? So, magic is the most logical choice. I could use it to look cool (or retarded), or help her with something that she might need help with. What’s your choice?

Merry:

I see we have a Negima in the making! Well to answer your question on why someone would want to escape is perhaps that lovely bishoujo you desire is a yandere and will do everything she can to portray her love for you by cutting off your legs so you won’t leave her! That would be quite a problem when you’re putting on the moves! I see you’re one of those romantic types because you did not use your magical powers to make her sway against her will and become your sex slave! I give you props for your gentlemanly demeanor! However, I noticed you have not chosen a bishoujo to pursue so I’m guessing you want every single bishoujo that has ever existed in your upcoming harem. You sly, ravenous wolf! I’ll be keeping an eye out for you with my Kyrios aimed at your face. As for my choice, I will answer at the end of this post.

Avisch:

Mahou/まほう

Why? Cause you can…
1. Summon a really cool gift
2. Look real awesome and disintegrating annoying people.
3. Look intellectual by explaining such magic

I’ll use it to impress Kaigen cause the only way to impress imposing people is by imposing them with imposing nature.

Merry:

I’d say that was pretty smart of him to pick an option that makes him look smarter! Using brain enhancers is a surefire way to impress the ladies just like steroids or viagra! I cheer for you Avisch to show em how BIG and IMPOSING your head is! I just hope that this Nazi Kaigen girl doesn’t chop you up into little bitty pieces first. Maybe you can summon some drugs to give her. That’s what all the cool kids do! And if anyone disagrees, you can disintegrate them! Your genius is on a level that I can’t comprehend!

Sterling01:

1. I’m kinda drunk right now so I’m probably not going to make much sense.
2. 扉を開けっ放して
3. Where’s the genuflect option?

|　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　/￣ ヽ　　　　　　|
|　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　　 　 ｜ 頭　ゝ　　　　　|
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|　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　＿ノ　/ ＿＿＿＿∩|
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|　　　　　　　　/ 　　　 　　,＿＿＿＿＿＿　/　　　　　　　　　　　 .|
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||__|￣￣￣￣￣　　　　 　　　　丶　　　　　　　　　　　 　　　　 　　 |
|　　|￣￣￣￣￣|　　　 　　　　　ヽ　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 |
|　　|￣￣￣￣￣|　　　／￣＼ 　　ヽ　　　　　　　　 　　　　　　　 |
|　　|　　　タ　　　| 　 　|.　妹 　|　　　　ヽ 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　 　|
|　　|　　　　　　　|　　◎＼.　／　　　　 　ヽ　　　 　　　 　 　 　 　.|
|　　|　　　ン 　 　| 　　　/　 　|＿＿＿＿|~~~|　　 　 　 　 　 　 　|
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Merry:
Seriously Sterling, you are probably one of the most lulzworthy characters I have ever met on the interwebz. You should get drunk more often. Though if I ever visit your place, I’ll stay clear of any gold-colored liquid that you claim is just alcohol. But then that picture you have painstakingly created, has hit me with enlightenment! I thought to myself in awe, “My god, this guy’s natural fluids must be an aphrodisiac! That must be the answer to the question!” Damn man, I never knew you hold such a godly skill, one with the potential to annihilate an entire planet! I have new disgust respect for you now.

And so that concludes the actual repliers! Now comes my own personal and respectful interpretations for those who were fapping too busy with their own 2D/3D bishoujos.

Hemisphere:

I like girls with swords, especially ninja swords. I just can’t get enough of those swords! In fact, I can SEE her sword poking out of those hawt, sexy, MC Hammer pants! OOOH GAAAWWWDDD HER SWORD IS SO THICK AND LONG AND SHARP! She can stab me all she wants with her BIG, GIGANTIC SWORD! HHHHHNNNNGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

Merry:

Then my suggestion for you is to fatten yourself up as much as possible and choose the “Wait” option. Girls dig large, soft bodies to stab their swords in. Just like this one!

Kresnik:

You’re asking me? YOU’RE ASKING MWAH!? My awesome ballroom dance moves and FABULOUSLY good looks will catch anyone’s eye, even animals! I don’t need any namby-pansy tactic to entice a man hermaphrodite woman into my beautiful hands! Nobody can resist one sway of my FABULOUSLY LONG hair. Rapunzel ENVIES my hair! EVEN HEMISPHERE cannot get enough of this HAIR!!!

Merry:
What can I say? This bishounen’s got it made. It’s true that many ladies do have a fatal attraction to long hair.

Algester:

SLKDAMFOI EWAVSAOLIJEJ >_> FAIA;MDS;F MASHIROMARSHMALLOW S;AJDFJOIESM <_< NFNOSAIH FS;OJFKDS SKJALFKJILSEJFILSAJFOSEIJ DLKSFNJ,EFNDSLKNFO SDKLJFSA;LFFJLKSDIEFM LKSJFNOIAWMFLDS <_>

Merry:
HEY! KEEP YOUR GRUBBY PAWS OFF MY WAIFU!

Micchi:
OH GAWD THE PAIN! GIVE ME MORE OF THE PAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNN!!!!111

Merry:

If you’re wondering whatever happened to Micchi, he’s receiving his brutal, and agonizing love at this very moment. I can hear the roar of a rusty chainsaw gorging through his insides and his screams of delight right now. I will never understand his personal tastes nor do I ever want to delve into his twisted mind to figure out why. If you ask me, the “run away” option looks inviting for any meeting with a yandere. But then there is always some crazy fellow who defies the norm…or enjoy drowning in his own pool of blood.

As for my choice, I would have to pick “fight”. This is because of the following reasons:
~My ultimate waifu is Airi.
~The “fight” doesn’t have to necessarily be a “fight to the death”.

With the weapons nature has bestowed upon me, (namely my hands and my “lance”) I will engage in her delectable tsuntsun and conquer her delicious deredere! It will be a hard-fought battle, but it shall be glorious.

And so that concludes my Valentine’s post! For all those people who have a special someone, have a nice and “pleasant” night. For all the singles out there, know that your plight is not a lonesome one. So don’t worry, be happy! Now if only someone would stop wallowing in his own self-pity.

Tags: Filler